“The good news is that you are not going to have to wear a bag.” My reaction was quite surprising to her: “Can I go swimming tomorrow morning?” (She subsequently told my PCP that she didn’t think the drugs had worn off yet, that I didn’t understand what she’d told me.) I did understand – all too well. “Well, I’ve got good news and bad news”, says this different GI doc. Feeling worse because I’d ceased taking the iron pills for the prior two weeks (someone had told me that they were “poison”), I confronted her once more with my decreasing vigor and illness, and a second colonoscopy was ordered….finally! I can remember dragging myself back into my PCP’s office yet another time in early August. (Today we know that unexplained anemia needs to be explained!) I’m sure that she was stymied because my physical vigor certainly what it had been for the many years I’d been seeing her, but the system’s protocol couldn’t seem to find any cause. All she could seem to do was to recommend that I take iron pills to help my unexplained anemia. It later was discovered that the unremarkable report had belonged to another person. The above picture was taken a few days after I’d had a barium enema x-ray that had resulted in being reported out as “unremarkable”. A second screen in the protocol failed me as well. The performing GI doc had explained his result by telling me that my colon was too” difficult” to view fully but that I, indeed, had irritable bowel syndrome (IBS) “just like” he did. I’d had a colonoscopy in January of that year that was incomplete (not getting to the end of the colon). And, yes, in the mornings I would “feel better”….for about 15 minutes! During the summer of 2002 I was even more consistently in bed all day, telling myself that “tomorrow” I’ll feel better. This scenario then kept up for 6 more months. But for one year-plus, I’d been increasingly going to my doctor for help because I just didn’t feel good. I’m not one who goes to the doctor often. Belying my reaction to them, my anemic pallor was very evident, I’d lost weight and looked frail, and I certainly wasn’t exhibiting good health! I actually felt terrible but I really didn’t want to admit it. I felt a bit annoyed as I kept telling them that my doc said that I was OK. They weren’t as direct about it with me, but they did keep asking me what my doctor was telling me. I was visiting at my brother’s home in Dallas, and my siblings were quietly -amongst themselves – asking what was wrong with my health. This is a photo of me that was taken 10 years ago prior to my diagnosis of colon cancer – almost exactly. They kept saying that there was nothing wrong with me, that I’d just have to learn to live with this!
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